Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Same week, next day

I have fallen in love!! Don't you think it would be great to fall in love with something new everyday. For example, a new wild flower in the back yard, a new person you met at your granddaughter's dance class, (a remarkable lady I met) a new dish at a restaurant, a new quote from a good book, a new hairdo, a new shirt color, a new lipstick. Oh, the list could go on and on. This is my new goal, "Fall in love with something new everyday".

Today I fell in love with pumpkin spice lattes with soy milk. AAAAAAAAmazing. After I went to the bone doctor, I went next door to treat myself to a latte. This was supposed to cheer me up and keep me from crying. The bone doctor who, by the way, was drop dead gorgeous, says I have a severe case of arthritis in my right hip. No bursitis. The swelling, infection and pain came from a chip of bone that got lodge in my joint. Oh yes, it could happen again. If it does, he will send me to a radiologist to get an injection. In the meantime, I can walk if I want to or continue to rest it for a while. I told him I wanted to start walking again. He said go for it and he insists that I take Advil daily especially if I'm going to return to walking. If I want something stronger, he will get it for me. I'm going to try the Advil for a while and hope that is all I need. Yes, I do worry about my liver. But since I don't drink and don't eat to terribly bad and only take blood pressure medicine (which I hope to get off of with the exercise), maybe it won't hurt it too bad. I really need to get rid of the diet coke addiction though. Oh, that is so hard even to think about.

I am looking at hip replacement surgery. But he says I still have a few years. He also said I was very young for this. Well, Dah. Anyway, not such a good report but it certainly could have been worse.

I plan to start out with just 1.5 miles of walking after school tomorrow. I'll take my cell phone in case I have to call for back up. Why do I feel so nervous about this? Well, I will see how it goes tomorrow after my walk and how I feel tomorrow night. If all goes well, I will get back into this seriously.

Until then......

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Same week, different day

Am I looking at the calendar wrong, or is it just September. I honestly believe it's already March or April because of my stress level today. If you happened to be driving down my street this afternoon and saw a crazy woman yelling, screaming and pulling her hair out, it wasn't me, but it could have been. I'm not supposed to be this stressed until later in the school year. My day started off bad and just got worse. It had absolutely nothing to do with kids either. It happens to be adults. I have come to the conclusion in my ripe old age of 40 something that when you give adults a little power, they let it go to their heads. TAKE IT AWAY!!!!!!


I don't even feel like going into the particulars. Just believe me when I say today sucked. That is until I got to Miss Priss' dance class. I made the mistake of walking back into her class (well, a mistake for the class but not for me), she ran straight to my arms and would not return to the group. This did, however, make my day better. It was like stepping out into the sunshine after being in a storm all day. The only way to get her back to the class was to join her. Now, I know absolutely nothing about pointing and sliding. These two year olds know more than me. I never took dance as a child. (That's a story for another day....my deprived childhood.) Of course she was the cutest one but she needs a tutu.

I think that maybe some of this stress comes from the bum leg issue. I go to the doctor tomorrow. I can't stand this not walking much longer. I miss it soooo much. If you had told me 2 months ago I'd be saying that , I would have laughed in your face and suggested you have a psychiatric evaluation. But I do miss it. I started to walk this afternoon to help clear my fuzzy brain, but my pain was there and I certainly don't want to make it worse again. That's all I need, another trip to the ER. Oh, and I got the bill for that today. Thank God for insurance. Do you know what they charge for a trip to the ER these days? It is absolutely absurd. No wonder there is a health care crisis in this country. Somebody needs to fix it....

Anyway, I am so excited about going to the doctor tomorrow. I can't wait for him to fix me. He will, won't he??

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Week 7, Sunday

Not being able to continue on my program is killing me. I want to be out there. I see the bone doctor on Wednesday, and with any luck he will tell me it's ok to walk. I still have pain in my leg and it is pretty bad at times. But, I can't believe that this will not pass. It can't last forever, right? My research on the bursa subject says that I can resume normal activities when the pain subsides. The pain has not yet subsided and I certainly do not wish to make matters worse. So, hopefully I will be cured on Wednesday and be out on the streets Wednesday afternoon. I read that for every week you are off the program, or any training program, it takes you two weeks to get back to where you left off. Thursday will be two weeks. That means it will take me 4 weeks to get back to being able to run at the rate I was going. That hurts. I'll just have to work harder and get back in shape. I am positive that there is still hope for the Jingle Bell Run. Even if I have to walk it.

Having experienced this health flaw, has caused me to think of things that I really take for granted. Things that I am so very thankful for. For example:

1. My bedroom being downstairs
2. My sofa with a great place to prop my leg.
3. My hubby who can actually carry me when necessary.
4. Shaving my legs on the morning I didn't know I was going to the ER.
5. Overall good health.
6. God who blesses me daily. (That should be #1)
7. Miss Priss who cheers me up daily.
8. Giving birth to Liz. (Exactly 24 years ago today.)
9. A wonderful extended Ayers family; 80 of whom showed up for reunion today.
10. Great parents
11. Cool weather and rain. (I love these rainy days.)
12. A job I can go to tomorrow to get some rest from the week-end.
13. Upcoming trip alone with hubby.
14. Chocolate Mousse Cake. Thanks Nancy.
13. Vegetables and bread.
14. Target. I love that place. The one downtown Charlotte is the best!!!!
15. Good books. (Adolescent Literature is my favorite. Good thing, since I teach that.)
16. Good movies. Turner Classics.
17. Coffee

Anyway, this list could go on and on, but these are just some of the things I have on my mind right now.

I have come to the conclusion that strange things only happen to me and my family. On Friday night, Hubby and I took Miss Priss and her mom to eat at a seafood restaurant in Gastonia. Since I am deathly allergic to shellfish, I always order whole flounder and I order it broiled. Well, Friday it took for ever and ever to get our food. We were starving and about to call out for a pizza when she finally delivered our food. As you all know, keeping a 2 year old entertained at home is hard enough and keeping her entertained in a restaurant is almost impossible. Our way of enticing Miss Priss to sit nicely and be patient was to promise her doughnuts after dinner. So, after we left the restaurant we stopped at Dunkin Doughnuts. Daughter and I get out and notice a police car parked near the door. We proceed to make cop and doughnut jokes (sorry Rob) and reach for the door which we now realize is locked. The police officer comes to the door and tells us that the shop is temporarily closed. As we head back to the car, 6 other police cars come storming into the parking lot. Yes, it's true. Only we would show up at a crime scene just seconds following the crime. My point is, if it had not been for waiting on my food, we would probably have been at the doughnut shop during the crime. Another one of those little inconveniences saving us from something bad.

Anyway, life is funny.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Week whatever, day whatever

Who cares what week and day it is anymore? Apparently, it is just not in the cards for me to run the Jingle Bell. I have to remind myself that sometimes these little set backs and inconveniences are God's way of saving me from something worse. For example, maybe a broken neck from falling down Crescent Hill, a black eye from getting in a fight with someone who tries to pass me, stepping out in front of a big Mac truck, winning the race and having to have my picture plastered over newspapers from around the country and making speeches at civic group meetings and giving out autographs and attending a reception in my honor at the White House (o.k., that's stretching it), but I do need to remember who is in charge of things here. And it sure ain't me!!!!

I ditched the crutches yesterday afternoon. Enough was enough. I still have them readily available and my bursa hurts like the dickens tonight. I have learned a great deal from my first experience with crutches. One thing, people will steal from you. The hubs and I went to Michaels after church on Sunday for something I needed for school. He had my purse (my first mistake, it didn't even match his attire), and was pushing a buggy. I, of course, was on my crutches. He put my purse in the buggy and I specifically remember telling him not to leave it unattended at any time. Now, being a man, he knows nothing about purse clutching and purse snatchers. He left my purse in the buggy which was only about 3 feet from where I stood looking at something and went over to the next aisle. Some redneck scumbag walked pass my buggy then backed up and stuck his nasty hand in MY purse. I said, "Excuse me sir, that is MY bag. Why is your hand in it." His reply? "I was going to give it to that lady." What dang lady. I was the only lady around. Anyway, redneck scumbag left the store. I would have beat him to death with my crutches if he had moved another inch inside my bag. Yuck....

I also have learned that people talk to you like you are a child when you are on crutches. For example, "Oh, let me help you get that door sweetie." First of all, I am not your sweetie...Nice gesture, but talk to me in an adult tone please. This is something I will always do now when talking to someone with a physical challenge. Dignity is a necessity.

Next I have learned how much I take simply walking for granted. A walk through the yard has now become a painful adventure. Coming upstairs is horrible and sleeping on my right side is not an option. I even have to watch how I cross or don't cross my legs. On Sunday at church, I had to ride up the elevator with the old people.

My research on this condition has led me to understand that I must not walk unless absolutely necessary and not to even attempt my walking program until all pain has subsided. When will that be????? I go to Mr. Bone doctor next week. Hopefully he will be of encouragement to me. I want to walk and run now more than ever. I just rode around my 3 mile path today for old times sake. So, if you walk or run by me and I stick out my tongue at you, don't take it personally. When I do get to walk again, will I have to go back to the beginning? Will I in fact have time to get in shape for the Jingle Bell? Will it be possible to participate in the Jingle Bell at all? Am I just too old and to out of shape for this? Will this be a condition I will have to live with for the rest of my life? I can't believe that I over did it. I began slowly and had been on the program for seven weeks. I want answers to these questions.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Week Six Saturday

Well, as many of you may know by now, doctor's orders are "No walking, no running, blah, blah blah, until pain subsides. Whenever that is. This is really very sad for me and has me asking many questions. Now, before I begin, please take note that I am still under the influence of heavy (and I mean very heavy) drugs. I'm a little shaky, a little nauseous, a little pale, and a lot weak.



Friday started out pretty normal, but by lunch time I was in a wheel chair and unable to move the right side of my body. Heck yeah, it was pretty scary. The nurse brought me a wheel chair and hubby had to come get me. I just kept thinking that if I could get home, take some antiinflammatory meds and get on the sofa with an icepack, I would recover completely. Not so true. Now this not being able to move the right side of my body wasn't like paralysis but like intense pain in the upper part of my leg. My thought was a strained muscle. By the time I got home and hubby and his employee finally got me carried in the house, I could not move an inch in either direction and this is no exaggeration. It was that bad, I tell you. So I started the drug regiment. 2 inflammatory pills, 1 muscle relaxer and an icepack. By 1:00 I was in constant pain and tears. Now, I don't cry. But this chick was squalling and hubby would not leave me alone. This was a good thing because I wouldn't let him. The thoughts of dying alone can be pretty scary. I really thought the next step was death because I didn't think the pain could get any worse than I was feeling. At 2:03 hubby called doctor's office and was switched to an answering machine at the nurses station where he left a message with details and asked them to call back asap. At 3:30 when doctor's office had not called back, he called them again. Now my hubby is slow to anger. He is slow to anger at anything. I could wreck the car, burn down the house or accidentally throw away his favorite Lynyrd Skynyrd CD and he would be upset but not extremely angry I don't think. (I really did throw away his favorite Lynyrd Skynyrd CD, by accident.) Anyway, he was very upset with the doctor's office and they tell him to go ahead and bring me in. But he knows that this is to be no easy task. He can't pick me up, he's already tried and I screamed bloody murder, I can't move, even to simply stand, so we have issues. He calls them back to ask if they have a wheel chair he can borrow and they tell him that if I am in that much pain, we should just go to the hospital. He just hangs up the phone with the look of....something... in his face. By this time, he has called my girlfriend who has arrived after picking up her granddaughter from school and she insists that I need to be seen and should probably go on to the hospital. But, you know me, I am always the indecisive one. I hate to go to the ER or the doctor, for that matter. I just keep thinking I'll get better and soon be miraculously cured of what ever this is I have. My friends granddaughter finally looks at me after a about 30 minutes and says,"You need to make up your mind. I haven't got all day for this. I have a football game to go to." She's 6. Just like her grandmother. Friend leaves and then Lane asks if he can run to the shop to close up and I , through tears, tell him to go ahead. By this time loving daughter #1 has found us a wheel chair and there I sit. Just sit. I can't move so I make the executive decision to go to the ER. I phone hubby and tell him to hurry so we can go to ER. Loving daughter number 2 and boyfriend come in and the 3 of them carry me, in wheel chair outside to car where I finally manage to crawl into the black floor. The inform me later that it takes 45 minutes to get me from house into car.

We finally get to ER at 5:15 and I sit in waiting for 3 hours. I cry the entire time. When I first got there they thought I had chest pains, I should have let them think that so I could have gone back quicker. Anyway, I finally go back at 8:30 and from then on things get kinda blurry. I remember heavy drugs, being cold, being taken to X-ray by a former student who says I am the 3rd teacher to flash him, then to get a CT scan. Finally they determine that I do not have a tumor or any signs of bone cancer. WAS THIS A POSSIBILITY???? I had no idea until everything was over. Anyway, I was diagnosed with bursitis and lots of arthritis in my hip and scheduled to see a bone specialist next week. I was sent home at 12:30a.m. and given instructions for the week-end which included more drugs and crutches. This ain't gonna be fun...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Week 6, Tuesday

I had 9 girls walk with me after school today. It was great!!! We only walked about a mile but they wanted to do it again tomorrow. I'm only giving them one afternoon a week for now. Maybe more later.

This morning I left school during my planning period to go to the Food Lion to get water and granola bars for us after the walk. I was starving and one of my teacher buddies wanted hot cakes and sausage from McDs, so I went by there after my stop at the FL. Why is it that people in this town don't understand that everyone does not eat animal flesh? I ordered her hot cakes and ordered myself an egg and cheese muffin. I know I shouldn't have, but I just couldn't resist. Anyway, when I got to the window to pay, I told her again to make sure that it was only egg and cheese. She said "oh, let me change that". OK. So, when I get to the pick up window, I have the good sense to check the muffin and sure enough, there is meat on it. So I knock on the window, LOUDLY, and tell the guy that it was not suppose to have the meat on it. He acts like I'm crazy. What's the big deal? Anyway, it was great...

After school the girls and I walked. One of the girls is extremely overweight but she hung right with us. We only almost got run down by 4 teachers hauling it out of there the back way and a couple high school kids, but other than that, it was great. We are going to try to make some kind of service project out of this too. Around Halloween, the girls want to make cookies or something and take them to the assisted living across the street. That should be nice. We can probably use the home-ec kitchen. I'll have to ask.

It is very interesting to be around 13 year old girls away from the classroom setting. You get to know them a little better. I makes me miss my own girls at that age. Talking about boys they think are hot and things they like to do. One thing I did sadly notice was that they all talked about step-parents, and half-siblings. It's kinda sad but I guess that's pretty much the norm in most families. One girl said her mom was getting married in March and one said her dad and her sister got married on the same day. How weird is that!! One girl called her step-mom to come get her and before she hung up she said "I love you". Then to me she said, "I really don't like her much". I asked her why, but she really didn't have a reason. I suggested that she probably felt they way simply because she was married to her dad and she did agree. Anyway, some interesting conversation.

After I got home, I walked my two mile route, came home and made a pot of chili. It simmers as we speak, or as I type. I am going to make myself start walking 3 miles each day. By October 1st, my goal is to start seriously running. That will give me 2 months to get ready for the run. I still don't see how that is going to be possible. But I'm going to aim for that anyway. I can always walk the run but that is the wimpy way. And I ain't no wimp!!!!!! (I don't think.)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Week Five - Thursday

I have been a blogging slacker this week. I guess I just have been way to busy. I have been adhering to the plan, though, and it has been almost 6 weeks. I can really see a change in my physical ability. Also, tonight I put on a pair of pants that I have worn to practically every function this summer, and they fell to my knees. YES!!!!! It was great, but I had to iron another pair and I was late for my engagement. Who cares??? My pants were too big.

Today I was to walk easy, 3 miles. Instead, I walked hard for 2 miles. Actually, I ran some. OK, a lot for me. Now, I want say I ran the whole two miles or even one of the miles but I ran more than I have ever ran in my life. It was great!!! I walked up the hills and ran on the declines. I really just don't see how I will ever run 3 miles.

I'm starting a little club thing at school with some of my girls. We are going to meet on Tuesday afternoons and start out walking. I have geared this activity toward the girls who are not involved in any type sports at school. I decided to do this because I noticed that one of my girls is on a diet and several/many others are so over weight. I have had a great response and can't wait to see how it goes on Tuesday. My principal gave me permission and I plan for us to walk around the back of my school to the high school. One of the girls that is planning to come is very, very over weight. She may need a little encouragement. Won't it be great to get these girls into this? I hope it works out. Some of the other teachers want me to get them to train for the run. We'll see.


My foot seems to be some better today. I didn't do any running or walking yesterday. I had to give it a rest and see if that would help. It hurt so bad yesterday morning around 5:00a.m, I was about to throw up. I was even planning to go back to the doctor, but the pain did subside during the day.

Tomorrow I am supposed to participate in a low intensity activity for 40 minutes. No problem. Miss Priss is coming for the night......